Earth sighs and drinks up Spent leaves float atop puddles Sorrows last seasons
2 comments:
Anonymous
said...
Hmmm, I understand your sentiment here in this haiku. but to be perfectly honest, I feel that the beauty of haiku is in its straight forward simplistic natural form. That is, without metaphors, similes, etc... without these plays on words commonly found in western poetry. Haiku beauty is in its minimilistic approach to display nature. Not to tell you about it, but to show you. Metaphors are not strictly prohibited from the haiku form, but I feel they are more clean and refreshing without them. They feel more haikuish! =)
I was trying to be as simplistic as possible, and wasn't even aware I was writing metaphors until you pointed them out. Just goes to show how hooked into western culture and wordplay I am. It has been so rainy here, and I am surrounded by mud, which is literally pouring out of our next door neighbours' place during a downpour. While it is oozing you can actually hear it move. We were hoping to have the drains finished this weekend, but my partner broke his wrist on Thursday. At the moment nature isn't that beautiful! I'll keep practising my haiku :)
2 comments:
Hmmm, I understand your sentiment here in this haiku. but to be perfectly honest, I feel that the beauty of haiku is in its straight forward simplistic natural form. That is, without metaphors, similes, etc... without these plays on words commonly found in western poetry. Haiku beauty is in its minimilistic approach to display nature. Not to tell you about it, but to show you. Metaphors are not strictly prohibited from the haiku form, but I feel they are more clean and refreshing without them. They feel more haikuish! =)
Hi Travis
I was trying to be as simplistic as possible, and wasn't even aware I was writing metaphors until you pointed them out. Just goes to show how hooked into western culture and wordplay I am. It has been so rainy here, and I am surrounded by mud, which is literally pouring out of our next door neighbours' place during a downpour. While it is oozing you can actually hear it move. We were hoping to have the drains finished this weekend, but my partner broke his wrist on Thursday.
At the moment nature isn't that beautiful! I'll keep practising my haiku :)
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